Auntie Jade…

I am Auntie Jade. I am the unmarried spinster who sits in the corner and watches the couples dance. I am the one who sees the dalliances and the drama and the turmoil. I am not seen, because I do not exist as part of a couple. I am also the one the young turn to when they want the truth and the old turn away from when they want to avoid it. I seem harsh to some, but it is only a shield for the Warrior I have had to be to survive: independent, opinionated, fierce and brash. I am empathic, and when the morphing to be accepted finally ceased to work because my Soul cried to know its own Truth I became a pariah, an outlier, fitting in nowhere.

So I made my own place. Owned my own heart, loved my own Soul, learned to Dance alone, for there was not another who could, or would, because I would no longer become what they wanted or needed at the cost of my own Being.

You think I am bereft of passion and romance but oh! If you only knew how deeply I love, you would run from the power of that too. Do not mistake a desire to be loved wholly and completely and purely for being the passionate, feral, outrageous Being that I am for one who cannot, will not, does not love. I love with a fierceness and a fire that has rarely been matched. If you love me, you risk burning too.

I fear sometimes I have lost my compassion in my quest for truth, in my search for all that is Real. In my need to be whole, to be Seen, to be loved I have looked in the mirror, and in looking in it can no longer look away from the pain, the heartache, the selfish motivations brought on by deep, hidden needs that we all experience. Having done at least part of this inner reflecting though, has caused me to become impatient with those who refuse to look – at themselves, at their lives, at their choices. It is deeply ironic that at the times I am most angry with my loved ones for their choices it is also the time when the tears fall unbidden because I cannot help them. Becoming whole is a singular path; we cannot be helped along it. It can only be witnessed, and honored as the Sacred act that it is. I pray for patience because their pain breaks my heart.

I am Auntie Jade. I am one of many invisible Aunties and Uncles. Look for us in the corners and along the sides of the walls and in the kitchens making tea. Look behind the stern countenances and the strange exuberances and the oft-times eccentricities that we enact to allow our Souls the freedom they require. Please. Look beyond these things and love us, because our hearts are huge and they break, daily, hourly, for all the grief in the world. See us. We are ever so willing to See you, in all your beautiful Sacred woundedness.



“The View From a Leaf”
Photo Credit – Kobi Refaeli, 2014

We are not needed
In the Great Forests
Or the Rushing Waters
Or the Deserts Beneath the
Great Full Moon

The Beings that inhabit those spaces
Are Already Awake

We must go where we least desire

Among the humans of the world
Who sleep a sleep so deep
They have forgotten

That it is We who need
The Great Forests
and the Rushing Waters
and the Deserts Beneath the
Great Full Moon

Let us Rattle!
And let us Drum!
Ring the Bells
And light the Twisted Sweet Dried Grasses
Within Shells of Ancient Ocean Beings’
Long Hardened Homes

Let us Dance beneath the Moon
Among the humans of the world
Who sleep a sleep so deep
They have forgotten

That without
The Great Forests
and the Rushing Waters
and the Deserts Beneath the
Great Full Moon

There is no reason for us to be here

Rise, Shaman, Rise!
Though your Hearts Break
To Leave the Sacred Spaces


Rattle your Drums
So that there are no Spaces left
Where Sacred is not ReMembered

© J. Porter 2013 et al


We are All each other

Some Parts

Too hard to handle
Too wounded
Too ecstatic

So we walk away

Some we Bless as we Turn
Some we curse as we Turn
Some we mourn as we Turn

We Bless
We curse
We mourn

Our Selves

What if we did a Soul Retrieval
For the World?

Reading Results: What is the Nature of Reality

Here’s the cards I pulled in response to a suggestion posted by Emily Carding on Facebook:

I had a really long piece almost complete when my computer locked up in a really odd way, so I’m taking that as a sign I was getting a bit wordy! (I am currently more familiar with The Transparent Tarot, so I did a reading using both decks instead of just the Oracle.)

Instead I will just say that as my opinion of Reality is that it’s all relative to one’s perspective anyway, these readings definately applied.  Taken together, I suppose I would sum them up as indicating that the Return of the Divine Balance is being fully supported by the Divine Masculine, even though both aspects of the Divine are still finding their balance and have not fully matured into equal Partnership.

Transparent Oracle

While the Masculine aspects of the human family have taken precedence for quite a long time, there is an emerging willingness to own the empathy that exists in both genders, and this is being exhibited in a harvest celebration that does not relenquish masculine strength and virility but embraces both.

Transparent Tarot
Page of Cups~The Sun~Page of Wands

The Benevolent Sun supports and encourages the re-emerging Feminine aspects of the human family that are reclaiming the Balance between Emotion and Action.

There will still be some time before this is achieved, but I see that great progress is being made and that the there is support for a Partnership rather than a dominance.

That’s my take on it anyway! Opinions welcome…


Author note: This post was private until 22 April 2017

14 January 2011

Sometimes the most unexpected things cause one to see something in oneself that needs owning.   Last year (2010), I said something in the heat of a moment that I deeply regret.  It doesn’t, to some degree, matter that I never would have actually acted on the words I used, or the reasons behind why I said them.  But it does matter that I said them, because they brought pain and heartache to both myself and, horribly, to another. Maybe more than one other, ultimately.

Words matter.  Words matter whether the other party hears them or not.  Words matter because even if no one else had ever heard me utter them, I would have at the very least been hurting myself.

With free speech comes responsibility.  What we say creates something, even if it does not seem like it is a big deal at the time. One word here, another word there, small in themselves to some degree, until they start to pile up, until they get lifted and carried on the wind.  Until each drop becomes part of an undeniable tidal wave.  Gratefully, good words can do this too, but so often it is only the ones that incite, that excite, that cause pain, that gain momentum, until the life-affirming and the positive words are drowned out in the hate-filled ones, as is evidenced by the violence in Arizona this past week.*

My words did not, thankfully, cause violence.  But they did cause disruption and pain.  Their impact was limited, albeit within a larger group of people than it needed to be.  There has been forgiveness and compassion now, regarding this personal incident in my life, forgiveness by the other party and within myself for that awful, rending moment.  This does not negate the fact, though, that I betrayed something at the core of my being and everything I believe in by saying them at all.  To not admit this made me a hypocrite when I am appalled by the actions of a group of people blind-sided by fear using their words in destructive ways.

The actions on a shop corner in Arizona* may have physically been the work of one lone gunman, but make no mistake that they were not fueled by rhetoric from somewhere.  Something he heard or experienced brought him to believe that it was, at the very least, acceptable for him to take the lives of complete strangers simply because he did not agree with a woman who was talking to them.

This event has the potential for healing, great healing for our shattered, divided country if we can all look in the mirror of it and see what is broken inside of us that has allowed this to happen in the first place.  What have we not addressed in ourselves that might have prevented this from happening in our community at large?  For me, the blessing has come in accepting even more responsibility for everything I do and say.  It is taking an awareness that I didn’t think was possible of every action, thought, and word that I will probably be working on until the day I part this life, and beyond.  To deny, however, that I am not culpable in some fashion in adding to the dysfunction of our human family would be a false-hood I am no longer willing to live with.  The only thing I can think to do to rectify the detrimental aspects of my contributions to the human family is to move forward with as much integrity and awareness as I can muster, so that what I mirror from now on is the best and brightest of those whom I meet.  I pray I am up for this challenge.

*Reference: Gabrielle Giffords||Assassination attempt


ReMember who you are

You are Divine Essence
The spark of Life made flesh

ReMember who you are

You are not your money (or lack thereof)
You are not your job (no matter what you do)
You are not your house (cardboard OR mansion)
You are not your vehicle (bike OR Lamborghini)
You are not the fleas in your carpet
Or the holes in your shoes

You are Divinity incarnate
Slipped into existence
By a loving Cosmos
Cradled by the Universe
In all it’s infinite Glory

ReMember who you are

You are your heart
And your soul
You are Beauty



ReMember who you are

You are Divine Essence
Love made Visible
Amazing, Infinite, Extraordinary


09/22/2008 © J. Porter